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How to find BLISS in your marriage if you desire it.

Blissful, joyful, and peaceful marriage are the desires of most couples when starting a marriage. Still, it soon looks like an unrealistic, unachievable, and elusive goal because it is not easily accomplished, nor is it the reality of many married couples.

Marriage is a long conversation checkered by arguments, every couple will argue about so many things, and they may agree or disagree at many levels. Some people assume happy couples don’t argue or fight, and the teams that often argue or fight are unhappy. The reality is that what couples do before, during and after arguments and fights determines whether they are happy or not. A healthy marriage will have many fights, but they are called good fights. It is an environment where both spouses are free to express their opinion while caring for one another.

A healthy marriage will have many fights, but they are called good fights.

Bliss means happiness, enjoyment, thrill, cheerfulness, gladness, contentment, and delight. These are things money cannot buy; it is a decision and attitude that someone puts on even amid an unpleasant situation.

A blissful marriage is like paradise and heaven on earth, but it does not mean the marriage is free of trouble and fights. When couples go to war, they certainly will not have peace or bliss. Some couples fight each other and forget they are on the same side fighting the exact cause, but instead, they turn towards each other to row like an enemy. Couples who know how to fight and still are friends find bliss in their marriage.

Suggested Read: Who would you consider your spouse to be: a friend, soulmate or housemate?

To have a blissful marriage requires you to want and desire it first. It is a goal that every couple must set and review every time. If it is a goal, couples must ask themselves these questions to monitor and evaluate their relationship.

1.We may have arguments but are we still together?

2. Are we still caring for each other?

3. Are we content with who we have married?

4. Do we have hatred and animosity towards each other?

Couples who know how to fight and still are friends find bliss in their marriage.

These are a few questions that can help couples realign their marriage goals, but sadly, many couples do not plan for these things. We assume love covers all, happiness will fall in place, and the relationship will be deepening. Unfortunately, we have seen many couples who were madly in love go their separate ways; if only love could sustain a marriage, that should never happen.

We must deliberately seek peace and pursue it, the bible tells us; we cannot leave it to chance. Many marriages are suffering because couples are letting things happen to them rather than make things happen. We cannot continue to do the same thing and expect the same result. Many marriages thriving today have either passed through adversity, fought the good fight, and found respecting each other and putting plans in place to safeguard their marriages and ensure it worked. Many marriage authors have shared their experiences of overcoming adversities and then deciding to honour their marriage and spouse and have a strong marriage. For some people, they were on the threshold of divorce, yet they were able to restore their marriage; why? They decided to build and work to have a happy marriage.

Many marriages are suffering because couples are letting things happen to them rather than make things happen.

You can also read: What are you fighting for in your marriage? Are you fighting a good or bad fight?

To find bliss must be a conscious decision; it requires knowledge, skills and wisdom to navigate the troubled waters of a marital voyage. The sea of marriage is vast and wide, and the navigation and compass are unique to the couples. The storms will arise on the sea; surviving the storm depends on the pair and how prepared they are to shelter and patiently wait for the storm to be over. After the hurricane comes a bright sky, tranquil sea and paradise. What would you do when a storm arises in your marriage? Are you prepared to handle with care your spouse? 

Are you prepared to handle with care your spouse?

Do you have the tools to solve conflict without hurting each other? We can help you, and your spouse understand the pressure points in your marriage by bringing them to your consciousness, equipping you with the tools and skills you need to achieve a successful marriage when you take the SYMBIS ASSESSMENT. We can help you, and your spouse unpack the results and work through your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats to your relationship. Every successful organisation does a SWOT analysis, and it should be no different when it comes to building a successful marital relationship. Contact us using the form below, and we will help you get your assessment set up. Over one million couples have taken the quiz and enjoying their relationships.

Please let me know in the comment if you are blessed.

Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!

Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.

Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.


My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here

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7 things you can do together as a couple to strengthen your bond and friendship in a marriage.

Marriage is a journey, and it requires effort, actions, and intentionality to make it work and beautiful. Many couples started their marriage with little or no knowledge that it requires active servicing. Many partners believed a wrong notion that once they marry their partner, life and marriage will just happen flawlessly. No, some principles and practices make a marriage work. It is just like buying a new car and you put it on the road, no servicing and maintenance, continuous refuelling and then expect that car to take you around forever.

What will happen to such a vehicle is a constant breakdown and eventually it will pack up and be grounded leaving the owner frustrated. However, the problem was not the car but lack of maintenance on the part of the owner. This is the situation of many homes and marriages. Couples have failed to care and nurture their love and marriage. Once the couple say I do, some partners resign and fail to court each other’s favour, yet expect the same spark and enthusiasm with which they started their marriage to blossom. Every garden is cultivated and nurtured to bring pleasantness and wonderful fragrance. Any abandoned garden will be taken over by weeds and thorns.

Do not leave your marriage garden unattended. I urge you as husbands and wives to nurture your marriage, be intentional and make your marriage an active one.

“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” – Henry Ford

Suggested Read: 5 ways to solve problems in your marriage

Doing things together as a couple can greatly enhance your marriage. Unfortunately, many couples work individually, thereby creating gaps or giving room for them to bond with someone else instead of their spouse. It can become very difficult for husband and wife to spend quality time together once married and even more difficult when children are involved. This can lead to physical separation and opportunity to reconnect after a while can be lost, if they are not deliberate.

How many times have we seen couples divorced because they are no longer interested in each other after their children have left home? It is because they have neglected each other while raising the children. You and I need to be conscious of this in our marriage. Matters like this have denied many partners the benefit of enjoying the old wine in their later years.

Below are seven things you can do together as a couple to strengthen your bond and friendship.

Go on holidays just the two of you 

You do not have to travel out of your country, take a weekend retreat to a local resort in your country and if you are blessed, please explore the world with your spouse. Make it yearly or twice in a year to spend quality time with your spouse. I greatly cherish it a lot when I get to spend quality time with my husband. The memories last a lifetime.

Do your exercise and take walks together 

Yes, I understand there are hustle and bustle daily, however you can and must create time for these seemingly little and mundane things. These were some of the ideas our parents did not count as important and we should not make those mistakes. There is more to life and marriage than sleeping, eating, working and back to sleep. Enjoy yourselves, there is no marriage in heaven and there is no part 2 either, once you start your marriage, that is it. Some of the marriages that are successful around me, especially here in England, the couples are so fond of each other, when you see the husband, you certainly know the wife must be very closeby, they are doing things together.

Watch movies and go to the cinema together

Sometimes some men can be guilty in this area, they do these activities with their friends rather than their spouse. They are making a great mistake of building friendship other the most important friendship they ought to build. The highest form of friendship should be you and your spouse, however, too often we think it will just grow. No, it is not automatic please correct this, if you are spending more time and resources on your other friends. Invest in your marital friendship first.

Follow a sport that interest your husband or wife.

My husband loves American football, he supports the Redskin and I decided to support the Baltimore Ravens. we have bantered over which team would win. When he used to watch it, I had no idea what a fumble was or touch down, soon after taking an interest in the game, I began to understand and enjoy it. Often, I hear myself shouting jargons of the game like sack and jump up when it’s a touchdown for my team. We look forward to the NFL coming to England and have attended events together. I loved watching wrestling; we both watch that together too. These activities ensure there are more things to talk about other than money or expenses or children and it brings spice to your marriage. My next goal is to get us to attend super bowl in America should Baltimore be in the final. We have something we are looking forward to, and how interesting it would be if Redskins are playing Baltimore Ravens.

Have a pet project

Take up a business venture jointly if you can, or support a charitable organisation. If you have a cause that is dear to your hearts, it is very likely going to keep you two working together to fulfil that cause. I would love to set up a charity that provides education for orphans in the future. I have friends who are involved in projects such as raising money to help those who cannot afford hospital bills. Those raising funds to provide bursaries for brilliant children to attend good schools etc. These good causes that are greater than ones immediate family need and can make husbands and wives pull together for a greater good.  

Fulfil destiny together 

This will allow you to spend quality time together, share your dreams and vision with your spouse. If your partner is studying a course or getting a skill, input and be involved. Even if you do not have expertise in that area, be interested and be able to talk about your husbands’ job or your wife’s career. My husband works in the IT industry and I have no clue about that previously, but now we can talk about the latest banking software and which company is using Globus or not. When is go live? Go or no go etc. It can be fun and shows you care enough to know about their work.

Eat together 

Have family dinner night or special dinners on Friday evening or Sunday afternoon. On your wedding day, you fed your spouse in front of everyone. When last have you put a piece of food in your partner’s mouth? Husbands on your wedding day, you put that cake in your mouth and then put it in your wife’s mouth and sealed it with a kiss. Why must that stop once you get married? Whatever you were doing that endeared your wife or husband to you, why stop it? You ought to do more of what is working. If you want a different result, you must be willing to do something different.

A couple that prays and plays together stays together. 

When you do things together you will be fanning that flame of love you kindled and never allow it to cool.

May your marriage be filled with God’s blessings always.

Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!

Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.

Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.


My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here

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The FAT Principles of marriage – TOLERANCE (Part 3)

Tolerance in marriage is the secret of many marriages that are surviving and moving into bliss today. For marriages that have broken apart, most have been hinged on the irreconcilable difference. Meaning the couple are unable to accept their differences and cannot even tolerate one another. We are by nature different, each person designed by God.

We have different experiences growing up and we are shaped by the different environment and household we grew with. Therefore, couples should expect they are going to have differences. It is the recognition, awareness, and the ability to accept and work with this in mind that is crucial to the survival of their marriage. Even though we need to learn to tolerate each other, the ideal in any marriage is for couples to move from tolerance to acceptance and this is where thriving begins. 

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As defined in the dictionary, tolerance is the ability and willingness to accept behaviour and beliefs that are different from your own, even if you disagree with or disapprove of them. It is the ability to bear something unpleasant or annoying or to keep going despite difficulties. Tolerance means you put up with, you go along with, you stick with and turn a blind eye to events and circumstances you may not be comfortable with. 

In marriage, couples are going to have annoying behaviours and you will have to bear with one another

You cannot fully know your spouse during courtship and so you will find out their idiosyncrasies and eccentricity, peculiarities and irks only when you get married. Little things, ideas and behaviours that bothers you, which you may only be finding out when you are married. 

For example, some women love to moisturise their skin and indulge it in oils and lotions of all kind, if I see a skin that is rough or white because of lack of moisturising, it annoys me a lot. However, some men also moisturise their skin and yet other many charming princes may not like to moisturise their bodies as well as women too. Some people wear socks to bed! Snoring, mouth and body odour, the way people eat! Neatness in your house may be different from another person’s idea of neatness. I am obsessed with clean toilets and if I see a speck it must go. Lifestyle and choices, you will make may be different from your spouse, if you cannot tolerate and accept them, then there will be an issue in the marriage. You may have to tolerate her family, her friends, and other people in your spouse’s life. If you equip yourself with this knowledge and be intentional about it, your marriage will move quickly into understanding and wisdom.

Two things happen when couples refuse to acknowledge or tolerate their differences. 

Resentment

Anger bitterness and poison that begins to erode their love for each other. If not dealt with it will lead to the ruin of their marriage. When you resent your spouse, everything they do begins to irritate you, you will not find anything positive, but the negatives will be exaggerated. If you cannot see any good in your spouse today, you should check that you have not harboured resentment over the years due to behaviours and attitudes you may have refused to accept or tolerate and possibly want to change. 

Control and abuse

Result and will be inevitable if one partner is trying to change the other. We are all aware and should know that one person cannot change another person. We can influence and help people grow out of a bad and annoying habit, but the change comes from within the person. A positive change is achieved through love. Look at the example of our Lord Jesus Christ. God has the power to change anyone, but He chooses to love us and wait for us to turn our hearts to Him because He first loves us. Any draconian means of forcing a change in one’s partner will not result in true love even if achieved. 

Principles of Marriage: ACCEPTANCE (Part 2)

Recently, as I was listening to one of the marriage counselling programmes, a man asked a question, which many people may have asked in the past. He said the l …Read More

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A good way to become a more tolerant person is to educate yourself more deeply about other people and cultures. 

Often when people display a lack of tolerance for somebody, it is in part because they feel alienated or uncertain about what the other person is doing or saying.

Lack of understanding or refusal to understand the differences we bring to the marriage. Frustration and having a small view of their world. Intolerance breeds hatred, hatred leads to distrust, distrust causes disunity. That is why the bible admonished that we should “always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love” – Ephesians 4:2. Make allowance for each other’s faults in your marriage, marriage is a marathon and not a sprint, so do not for a moment think short term and expect your partner to change. 

The serenity prayer should be your guide if you are desiring a peaceful and happy marriage. 

Serenity Prayer- God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Stress tolerance is the capacity to endure pressure or uncertainty without becoming negative, hopeless, bitter, or hostile toward yourself or others. People with strong stress tolerance can withstand and may even thrive in high-pressure situations. Why do organisations ask for this skill during job interviews? How well do you cope with stress or work under pressure? It is because you need to be able to continue to work productively, even if your colleagues and office environment are hostile. You cannot refuse to work and cooperate in a work environment due to stress; it is, therefore, important that you develop the skill of tolerance. 

How do I become a tolerant husband or wife you may ask? Below are ways to develop and become a more tolerant spouse. Have healthy self-esteem – know who you are and have a conviction of who you are. Form your own opinions and make that positive. The more comfortable you feel with yourself and your opinions, the less defensive you will be. Oftentimes, people have trouble tolerating opinions that threaten their worldview. Being more comfortable with yourself, and how you see the world, can lead to more positive interactions with people different than you.

Opinions are cheap, convictions are real – do not take people’s opinion as personal, learn to be objective it is easier to be tolerant of opinions if you can see them objectively. Try to see your spouse’s opinion as separate from how they judge you and your character. This will help you to be able to disagree with people but tolerate these disagreements. Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 – Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you have cursed others.

The Golden Rule – do unto others what you want them to do you. Whenever you feel intolerant to another person’s opinion, pause, and reflect on the Golden Rule. Just as you would expect someone to consider your perspective without judging you, extend this same courtesy to someone else.

Refrain from being judgmental – be more open and less disapproving, the bible says “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37.

Tolerance is the key to becoming an understanding spouse. When you understand and your partner knows you will understand, it becomes the force that holds your marriage together for decades. If you as husband and wife can understand each other, then it is far easier for you to avoid problems in your marital relationship. Thus, your love becomes stronger and lasts longer. 

As you can see, tolerance is the force that helps you reinforce your relationships, and eventually, it will transform into acceptance which turns into a long-lasting marriage. Now all that we have said cannot be achieved without the help of the Holy Spirit, they are fruits of the Holy Spirit. For example, if you love as Jesus commanded, you can never live in unforgiveness nor refuse to tolerate your spouse. With the help of the Holy Spirit, you will be able to persevere, be gentle and kind, you will accept and tolerate people. 

Therefore, if you are struggling in this area, you need the help of the Holy Spirit and you need Jesus in your life to have that peaceful and blissful marriage.

Say this simple salvation prayer with me: Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe You died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Saviour.

Please let me know in the comment if you are blessed.

Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!

Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.

Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.


My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here

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Principles of Marriage: ACCEPTANCE (Part 2)

Recently, as I was listening to one of the marriage counselling programmes, a man asked a question, which many people may have asked in the past. He said the lady he wants to marry does not speak good English and he is embarrassed whenever she comes around to see him. He was asking if he should marry the lady or not? This is what happens when we are not able to accept our spouse with their flaws that we recognise before marriage or the ones that will be discovered after marriage. 

Some partners are embarrassed and possibly nurse the idea of changing their spouse, if they have not yet made up their mind to change them. 

I was happy that this person realised they would have issues with being proud of their spouse if they went ahead and marry out of pity or for other reasons. They will be unable to accept this woman with her level of education, and therefore will not connect emotionally and on other levels. 

Singles, it is important to consider the person you want to marry and assess the qualities and characters you can see now. Will you truly accept this person with all their flaws and without being embarrassed? If you are not proud to show off your fiancé or fiancée due to any flaws, please do not go ahead because you have not accepted them. 

Acceptance is one of the secrets to having a happy and lasting marriage. To accept means to be willing to tolerate someone or something. It is the process or fact of being received as adequate, valid, or suitable. It also means embracing, adoption and integration.

To accept your spouse means they become a member of your family, in marriage you and your spouse becomes one. That is the principle of acceptance, if you are not seeing your spouse as belonging to your group or as an equal, you are yet to accept your spouse. Some of the reasons why many marriages fail are the lack of acceptance of the wife or husband as a full member of the family, in some parts of the world. The wife is seen as an alien or intruder into the family and if not specifically told to their face, many actions from the extended family will boldly communicate this. 

Read part 1: Principles of Marriage:  FORGIVENESS (Part 1)

Some people believe and start their marriage with the intention that their spouse can leave them at any time. Therefore they never commit to the marriage. They have already broken the principle of marriage that says two flesh shall become one. They live with the conviction that they can never rely on, or trust their spouse with their all. If you have this mindset, please renew your mind. 

A marriage that will last, will not be started with the intention to go apart, but with the intention to bond and become one forever. 

The bible says in Romans 8:15 “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by Him, we cry, “Abba Father.” 

When you accept your spouse as a permanent member and equal member of your family which is made of husband, wife, and the children, then there should be no fear of treating your spouse as yourself. Sadly, many people do not consider their family unit as that immediate nucleus family. In its place, they focus on extended family members and give priority to meeting their needs and fulfil the desires of these people above and over their partners.  

In order to improve your marriage relationship if you have not fully accepted your spouse, become more accepting of your partner’s strengths and weaknesses. Rather than to continue attempting to get them to change fundamentally, embrace and grow together.

If you are newly married or about to marry, as you continue to solidify and form a new identity with your spouse, negative thinking can set in and flaws become apparent. It is important to come back to this principle of acceptance. If you do not reign in negative thoughts such as “this is not the person I thought I wanted” they soon take over like weeds and destroy your very beautiful marriage. And that’s where a small strain can easily take hold of an otherwise happy and healthy marriage.

Believe it or not, all marriages, no matter how strong, or deeply connected, will experience strain when change happens. 

The difference between a successful marriage and an unsuccessful marriage is influenced by the level of acceptance by each spouse

Below are suggested and fundamental truths you can hold onto, to help you practice the principles of acceptance. 

You will be able to accept your spouse if you learn and practice these truths: 

  1. Accept you are in this marriage together for the long run. You are convinced and willing to live the rest of your life with your partner. You are no longer two but one flesh. Who hates their own flesh? 
  2. You have no control over your spouse’s behaviour, and you are accepting this person for who they are. You are set free because you will then realize that, you don’t have any control over them, just the choices that you make about being with them.
  3. Realise we are all flawed, all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. You must realise there is no perfect human being. You are also flawed, and your spouse is living with that reality. 
  4. Set healthy boundaries early, decide what you can live with and that which will set you ablaze. 
  5. Leave room for personal growth, accept and believe your partner will undergo personal development in their own time and in their way. This requires patience and decide to grow together. If there is an area of weakness, instead of criticism and resentment, help your spouse to grow and develop in that area. We cannot be perfect, and we have blind spots.
  6. We must understand that we are different and have been brought up in a different environment. Actions and culture that are acceptable in my house may be a taboo in yours. Develop a win-win attitude where you differ.
  7. You must have the understanding that men and women are different in so many ways. This will help you come to terms with your partner’s eccentricities. 

Below are some of the different ways men and women show their differences, almost universally. 

Men value power, competence, efficiency, and achievements, but women value love, communication, beauty, and relationships. 

Men feel hurt and incompetent when you offer them unsolicited advice. Why? because asking for help can be seen as a weakness. Whereas to women folks, it is a sign of caring to give advice and suggestions.

The dilemma in men and women relationship is the lack of understanding and acceptance of our differences.

Men want to fix women, they want to offer a solution, when all a woman wants is for you to listen and empathise.

Women want to help men by offering unsolicited advice and improve men. Yet men want to fix themselves and find a solution by themselves. Can you see the need for understanding and acceptance? We must accept that men and women are different, and that does not mean we cannot live together in harmony. The principle of acceptance is to embrace our partner which can only be achieved with determination, discipline, and effort. 

John Gray in his book Men are from Mars women are from Venus said – 

When men and women can respect and accept their differences, then love has a chance to blossom.”

What will true acceptance based on the few differences between men and women, that I have discussed above mean to you as a man or a woman?

Man – Practice listening whenever a woman speaks. Have the sole intention of respectfully understanding what she is going through, without offering a solution. 

Woman – practice restraining yourself from giving unsolicited advice or criticism, allow the man to solve his problem or ask. 

Suggested Read: The king advisers – who advises you about your marriage matters?

It is not easy to do because it is opposite of what we are wired to do, this is the sacrifice that marriage needs. Acceptance is the highest level a husband and wife can operate on and begin to grow and deepen their love for each other. Sadly, because this has not been taught or explained properly to many, including to me. We are always seeking to change and modify our spouse, either by control or abuse. If you are reading this, and you feel that any of the issues above resonate with you, decide, and learn to accept your spouse, especially, if you are now married. There is no perfect spouse out there, you can work with who you have. The best time is during courtship, decide who you want to marry and make sure you can and will accept them with their good and not so good. Every human being has strengths and weaknesses. Focus on their strengths, celebrate that, and develop and work on your areas of weakness. 

Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!

Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.

Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.


My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here