Marriage is a journey, and it requires effort, actions, and intentionality to make it work and beautiful. Many couples started their marriage with little or no knowledge that it requires active servicing. Many partners believed a wrong notion that once they marry their partner, life and marriage will just happen flawlessly. No, some principles and practices make a marriage work. It is just like buying a new car and you put it on the road, no servicing and maintenance, continuous refuelling and then expect that car to take you around forever.
What will happen to such a vehicle is a constant breakdown and eventually it will pack up and be grounded leaving the owner frustrated. However, the problem was not the car but lack of maintenance on the part of the owner. This is the situation of many homes and marriages. Couples have failed to care and nurture their love and marriage. Once the couple say I do, some partners resign and fail to court each other’s favour, yet expect the same spark and enthusiasm with which they started their marriage to blossom. Every garden is cultivated and nurtured to bring pleasantness and wonderful fragrance. Any abandoned garden will be taken over by weeds and thorns.
Do not leave your marriage garden unattended. I urge you as husbands and wives to nurture your marriage, be intentional and make your marriage an active one.
“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” – Henry Ford
Suggested Read: 5 ways to solve problems in your marriage
Doing things together as a couple can greatly enhance your marriage. Unfortunately, many couples work individually, thereby creating gaps or giving room for them to bond with someone else instead of their spouse. It can become very difficult for husband and wife to spend quality time together once married and even more difficult when children are involved. This can lead to physical separation and opportunity to reconnect after a while can be lost, if they are not deliberate.
How many times have we seen couples divorced because they are no longer interested in each other after their children have left home? It is because they have neglected each other while raising the children. You and I need to be conscious of this in our marriage. Matters like this have denied many partners the benefit of enjoying the old wine in their later years.
Below are seven things you can do together as a couple to strengthen your bond and friendship.
Go on holidays just the two of you
You do not have to travel out of your country, take a weekend retreat to a local resort in your country and if you are blessed, please explore the world with your spouse. Make it yearly or twice in a year to spend quality time with your spouse. I greatly cherish it a lot when I get to spend quality time with my husband. The memories last a lifetime.
Do your exercise and take walks together
Yes, I understand there are hustle and bustle daily, however you can and must create time for these seemingly little and mundane things. These were some of the ideas our parents did not count as important and we should not make those mistakes. There is more to life and marriage than sleeping, eating, working and back to sleep. Enjoy yourselves, there is no marriage in heaven and there is no part 2 either, once you start your marriage, that is it. Some of the marriages that are successful around me, especially here in England, the couples are so fond of each other, when you see the husband, you certainly know the wife must be very closeby, they are doing things together.
Watch movies and go to the cinema together
Sometimes some men can be guilty in this area, they do these activities with their friends rather than their spouse. They are making a great mistake of building friendship other the most important friendship they ought to build. The highest form of friendship should be you and your spouse, however, too often we think it will just grow. No, it is not automatic please correct this, if you are spending more time and resources on your other friends. Invest in your marital friendship first.
Follow a sport that interest your husband or wife.
My husband loves American football, he supports the Redskin and I decided to support the Baltimore Ravens. we have bantered over which team would win. When he used to watch it, I had no idea what a fumble was or touch down, soon after taking an interest in the game, I began to understand and enjoy it. Often, I hear myself shouting jargons of the game like sack and jump up when it’s a touchdown for my team. We look forward to the NFL coming to England and have attended events together. I loved watching wrestling; we both watch that together too. These activities ensure there are more things to talk about other than money or expenses or children and it brings spice to your marriage. My next goal is to get us to attend super bowl in America should Baltimore be in the final. We have something we are looking forward to, and how interesting it would be if Redskins are playing Baltimore Ravens.
Have a pet project
Take up a business venture jointly if you can, or support a charitable organisation. If you have a cause that is dear to your hearts, it is very likely going to keep you two working together to fulfil that cause. I would love to set up a charity that provides education for orphans in the future. I have friends who are involved in projects such as raising money to help those who cannot afford hospital bills. Those raising funds to provide bursaries for brilliant children to attend good schools etc. These good causes that are greater than ones immediate family need and can make husbands and wives pull together for a greater good.
Fulfil destiny together
This will allow you to spend quality time together, share your dreams and vision with your spouse. If your partner is studying a course or getting a skill, input and be involved. Even if you do not have expertise in that area, be interested and be able to talk about your husbands’ job or your wife’s career. My husband works in the IT industry and I have no clue about that previously, but now we can talk about the latest banking software and which company is using Globus or not. When is go live? Go or no go etc. It can be fun and shows you care enough to know about their work.
Have family dinner night or special dinners on Friday evening or Sunday afternoon. On your wedding day, you fed your spouse in front of everyone. When last have you put a piece of food in your partner’s mouth? Husbands on your wedding day, you put that cake in your mouth and then put it in your wife’s mouth and sealed it with a kiss. Why must that stop once you get married? Whatever you were doing that endeared your wife or husband to you, why stop it? You ought to do more of what is working. If you want a different result, you must be willing to do something different.
A couple that prays and plays together stays together.
When you do things together you will be fanning that flame of love you kindled and never allow it to cool.
May your marriage be filled with God’s blessings always.
Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!
Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.
Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.
My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here