Marriage can build or destroy the couple involved. I want you to note the ten reasons below, especially if you are a Christian and even if you are not a Christian, they will help you find peace and joy in your marriage.
Your destiny is affected by your marriage
We all have a great future ahead of us and many singles dream of achieving great things in life until they get married. If you are married and fortunate to have a spouse supporting your purpose, as you help your spouse; the sky will be no limit for you. On the other hand, if you make a mistake and marry a spouse that will not support or help you achieve your goals or make your dreams come true, your destiny may be truncated. There is no place where you can achieve your goals with support, like a good marriage. The synergy and blessing that follows are phenomenal. Also, there is no place like a marriage where your dreams and goals can go wrong. Therefore, it is crucial to ensure you marry the right spouse interested in supporting your dreams and aspirations as you also want to help them achieve their goals.
Your health is directly linked to the state of your marriage
Health is wealth; you can have all the money in the world and still unable to buy health. Your union can stress your health or improve your health. If you are making your relationship beautiful and loving, you will be happy and be at peace. A merry heart does good like a medicine. When your marriage relationship is blissful, your body produces feel-good hormones that increase your immunity. However, if your marriage is stressful, your body will release harmful hormones that contribute to low immune levels. You would agree that couples who are on good terms and enjoying their marriage glow and those who are struggling reflect stressed and dull appearance. Please Do not ignore your marriage because it will affect your health.
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Your wealth is increased or decreased because of your marriage.
When you get married, the total household income increases, and research has shown that married couples have more disposable income than single or lone households. A good marriage will continue to increase wealth and leave a good legacy for their children. However, bad marriages result in wastages and decrease wealth, if there is infidelity, money that should be in the family treasury go to others, e.g. adultery. If there is a divorce, the household income will reduce, and we have seen some couples lose their wealth due to divorce settlements.
Your children’s future is affected by your marriage
Raising Godly children is what the Lord desire from our marriages – Malachi 2:15. When matrimonies are loving, Godly and loving children are raised and reproduce what they have learnt and experienced in their parents’ marriage. The children who grow up in intact homes are likely to go to university and be married. In contrast, children from broken families often are expected to drop out and not complete their education and potentially become offenders. You can see that the way you do your marriage will affect your children’s outcome in life. I believe we must not ignore our marriages so that we can raise godly and responsible children.
Enjoying your old age is dependent on your marital bliss
Many people do not consider their old age and plan for it while young to ensure they can have a good companion and enjoy life with the wife or husband of their youth. Your marriage relationship will determine whether you will be happy and looked after in old age. It is sad to see many married people become lonely and alone when the children have left home. Most of the people that live long and well into their old age have good marriages. It was not that their marriage was trouble-free, but they grew through what they went through and came out stronger and better. I am always joyful when I see an older couple looking after each other, travelling the world together, visiting their children and grandchildren. It is such a joy, and I hope young couples can be careful to think of their old age when faced with marriage difficulties. Think about your old age; your parents and family will not be there when you are old.
Your prayers can be answered or hindered by your marriage relationship
This point always weighs heavily on my mind because many people are fighting battles against the Lord, and they think the enemy is attacking them. David said Lord let me not be your enemy. There are many verses in the bible that talk about prayers not being answered due to how married couples relate. I would even be more scared if I were a man because God’s word commands that men should deal gracefully with their wife so that their prayers are not unanswered. In Malachi 2, God said He would not look down with favour on an unfaithful husband in dealing with the wife of his youth. In the new testament, Paul admonishes husband and wife not to deny each other their bodies because that will equate to robbing the other partner. The Lord does not look favourably on a robber, in Malachi 3, those who steal will experience calamities.
Your faith is tested and revealed by your marriage happiness level
Every marriage will go through challenges and seasons; the difference between a Godly marriage is the couples’ ability to glorify God and submit to God in every situation they face. When married couples fear God and choose to honour and glorify God, there is no circumstance or problem that they will not be able to overcome together. I have realised that any Christian marriage that breaks up must have one or both couple walking in disobedience to God. It could be the husband not loving the wife as Christ loved or his wife not submitting unto her husband as unto the Lord. There is nowhere our faith is tested than in a marriage because we are naked to our spouse. As Christians, we can deceive other people, but we cannot hide our true self in marriage. The state of our marriages reveals our faith in Christ and obedience to the Lord. It is so sad and disheartening when Christian marriages fail because God has given us all that we need to make a marriage work.
God is glorified or derided by the state of your marriage
As Christians, we are not perfect, and I understand that we war against our flesh. However, we are called to grow and be more like Jesus, giving glory to the father in all that we do. God created and instituted marriage; He made us male and female and gave us our distinct and different characteristics. God understands we are different, but we can live in harmony and love. When couples make marital bliss look like an impossible task, we limit God’s ideal and purpose in marriage. We must make giving God glory our priority in our marriage, which will help us know what to accept and what to reject. Christians adopt many worldly views in marriage, which is making it challenging to Glorify God. It is a shame that the divorce rate amongst Christians is almost the same as those who are not. What testimony is that? When we ought to be light and salt to the world.
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You are responsible for the success or failure of your marriage
Whenever a husband or wife blame each other, their marriage will suffer. We must take responsibility for the state of our marriage. It is relatively easy to blame someone else or shift the blame, “I did this because you did that”. The moment one realises that we have control over our actions and reactions even though we cannot control another’s activities, we become masters and can control our actions and reactions. I used to shift blame to my husband, and my misery never went away until I changed and focused on myself. The moment I was able to accept responsibility for my behaviours, actions and inactions, the moment I had the power to control my emotions. We often do not realise that we release control to another person when we blame them for our actions. You must learn to take responsibility and work on yourself to gain freedom and grow as an individual. The more you grow, the more mature you become, which will help you respond to negative actions with love. The success or failure of your marriage is in your hand. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to fight. You must take responsibility for your actions or inactions if you desire growth and peace in your marriage.
You can be growing or gripping because of your marriage
Marriage can make us better and grow faster than we could ever think. It is also a double edge sword, and if not correctly handle, it will cause harm and stunt growth. You must not ignore your marriage if you want to grow in all areas of life. Whatever problem your spouse brings is to help you succeed. Every challenge should help you develop if you are aware and wise to use them as steppingstones. If your wife is nagging you, it should help you become a more patient and gentleman. If your husband has a bad temper, it should help you grow and become meek and mild. If your spouse is blowing hot, you should be blowing cold and vice versa. Your most challenging issue is an area of growth; if you approach every challenge this way, you will grow rather than suffer in your marriage. I used to hate budgeting and saving money was not my strength; I have since grown in that area of challenge in my marriage.
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Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.
Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.
My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here