ABI

Diamonds form under pressure; Great marriages survive marital pressures.

I love diamonds, and I remember when I got a watch with diamonds on it, it shines and glows, especially when light falls on it. Diamonds are every girl’s dream. I would love to have a collection of them, but now I am content with the one I have. Have you ever wondered why diamonds are rare, expensive, and cherished above all other stones? It is because diamonds form under intense pressure for an extended period, and people must dig deep to find them. The rocks that withstand the tremendous pressure for a long time become the most cherished and loved item in peoples’ closets. Great and beautiful marriages result from couples who endured marital stress and chose to give it time and work on their differences to become understanding and loving spouses. Many marriages could not become beautiful because couples buckle under the stress of marital pressures.

Many marriages could not become beautiful because couples buckle under the stress of marital pressures.

 I read this quote online “the couples that are mean to be, are the ones who go through everything that’s designed to tear them apart and come out even stronger.” Yes, many marriages are meant to be because marriage is a lifetime commitment, and couples must realise they will be forged by fire. Marriage is a melting of two individuals into one, requiring removing all instances that will cause friction. The process of eliminating behaviours, ideas and thoughts that misalign is not going to be easy. It can be likened to melting two different metals to form steel. Before the steel can come out shining and strong, it will be dissolved under intense heat, cool and reheat for all the impurities to be removed. 

Great marriages don’t naturally happen; they are created by imperfect couples who refuse to give up on each other and their marriage.

Many couples jump ship once there is a bit of heat; rather than work out the issues causing troubles and misunderstanding, they want to separate, go their own way or abandon their spouse for another. Second and third marriages have a higher divorce rate because the same issue that the person was running from will face in another form with another partner. Marriage is a melting point of two souls into one, and therefore, before couples become soulmates, they will need to face testing situations. Thus, can I ask you how you are handling the marital pressure in your marriage?  Do you see the challenges you are facing as an opportunity to improve yourself and not destroy your marriage?

Many people are unprepared for challenges, and so they react with anger, violence and resignation.

Many people are unprepared for challenges, and so they react with anger, violence and resignation. There is no place for violence in marriage, and it is not the best way to overcome challenges. When you come under marital pressure, and I can tell you every marriage will face a test. What you do is to seek to understand yourself first. Why am I being irritated by my partner’s action or inaction? What can I do to make this issue resolved without losing my partner’s support? Can I empathise and put myself in my partner’s shoes so I can see or feel what they are feeling?  There are so many growth opportunities in adversity, but unfortunately, many people consider the fire and heat rather than the reason for the heat. People want great marriages but do not want to refine, purify, and become understanding, kind and loving spouses. 

People want great marriages but do not want to refine, purify, and become understanding, kind and loving spouses.

If you are considering marriage, I want to encourage you to prepare and be aware that there will be marital pressures; these pressure points are like the refining fires to help purify and make your marriage beautiful. Don’t engage in nasty fights, blaming, resentment and anger. Step back and start with yourself first. Why am I getting angry? Why do I feel humiliated?  Why do I feel disrespected? Why am I feeling unloved? Focusing on yourself and not your spouse will help you become a better version of yourself and an understanding partner. It is effortless for us to blame someone else and ask them why questions like: Why don’t they love me and respect me? Why can’t they see things the way I see them? What are they so wasteful with money?   

Are you destroying your marriage or purifying yourself to become a beautiful, valued and respected spouse?

These types of questions you cannot answer accurately, best you will guess and make up untrue stories which always leads to resentment and bitterness.

Remember diamonds, and steel is not made by skipping the pressure and fire; they are forged into beautiful, cherished and valued items because they were forged by force and fire. What will you do with the marital pressure you face in your marriage? Are you destroying your marriage or purifying yourself to become a beautiful, valued and respected spouse?

Great marriages don’t naturally happen; they are created by imperfect couples who refuse to give up on each other and their marriage.

I am a certified SYMBIS ASSESSMENT facilitator, and I would love to help you start your marriage right if you are getting married soon. If you are already married, I can also help you enrich your marriage by helping you and your partner understand how your personalities mesh. Saving Your Marriage Before IT Starts (SYMBIS) is a research-based questionnaire that couples take individually. We will generate a comprehensive report which I will help you unpack as your facilitator.

Research has shown that the couple who took the assessment reduced the divorce rate by 31%, saving one-third of couples whose marriage could have ended in divorce. Still, because they took the assessment, they were well prepared and avoided pitfalls while maximising the full potential of their relationships. 

Would you mind clicking the link below to learn more about SYMBIS and how you can take the assessment and start enjoying your marriage? Take Symbis Assessment

Over 1,000,000 couples and 100,000 pastors and counsellors cannot be wrong: SYMBIS is the most widely used pre-marital assessment in existence. SYMBIS+ is excellent for already married couples.

What SYMBIS does is nothing short of revolutionary – Gary Chapman author of The Five Love Languages 

Please let me know if you are blessed, by liking the post, share and comment.

Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!

Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.

Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.


My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here

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A Gentle Giant in Marriage

Meekness is an attitude required for a successful and peaceful marriage, and every so often, some of us have not made conscious efforts to develop it. We habitually think people are meek and gentle by nature, but these are attributes that everyone can cultivate. I love watching documentaries on oceans, forests and environments in general. I have seen that one of the biggest fish in our sea – the whale shark, even though giants feed on the smallest planktons, crabs and small fish, posing no danger to humans. These whale sharks are gentle despite their enormous size. I often wonder if these creatures were to unleash their full force on other animals in the sea, would there be any safe place for other fishes? That picture is what I have in mind while writing you my readers today about meekness. Being gentle and able to control the power and force we have to keep peace, calm and tranquillity in our environment is golden. 

Being gentle and able to control the power and force we have to keep peace, calm and tranquillity in our environment is golden

Many spouses are unaware of how we disturb the peace in our homes and make it unsafe for our families due to our demeanour, authority, and power exhibition. 

Some prominent people are genuinely gentle giants, for example we have Presidents of countries or majority leaders; these people have what it takes to crush another person because of their size, power, or status, but they are conscious that people are intimidated even without saying a word. Hence, they make a conscious effort to put people at ease in their presence. In some families, the most dominant person may not be aware that their presence alone commands fear; on top of that, they roar and terrify those they ought to protect and most times, they are unaware that what they are doing is frightening. In their minds, they control and put the home in order; both spouses fall into this group. The voice of men, words of women and how they use it can cause trouble and lack of peace in homes. 

The voice of men, words of women and how they use it can cause trouble and lack of peace in homes.

Research has shown that the male voice can be scarier to women and not attractive but somewhat threatening. A deep male voice shows masculinity, dominance, and it is more to do with threatening other males away from their pack. 

“Human male traits imply physical aggression and formidability and provide competitive advantages in fighting or threatening other men more than they help attract women”.[1]

Many children are afraid to approach parents not because of what they did or not, but primarily due to fear and intimidation arising from the way we speak and command them. 

I want to encourage any dominant spouse, especially if you are a male, to consider how they may be intimidating their family unknowingly, and some people do it knowingly. Would you please choose to put your power under control and desire to be a meek and gentle person? Be a gentle giant; that is not going to diminish the awe and respect you get. Imagine a strong man carrying a new baby who is helpless and fragile, trying to make sure they are as gentle and careful as possible. Using their whole strength could hurt that child intentionally; this is the picture of a meek and gentle person. 

Jesus Christ is meek and our role model for being patient, calm, and living with restraint considering the fragility of people he created and loved. 

Jesus Christ is meek and our role model for being patient, calm, and living with restraint considering the fragility of people he created and loved.

Meekness is a positive attitude every husband and wife must put on; it is not natural but we develop and grow to become meek. I would encourage husbands to consider developing a meek attitude because; they are in a position of authority in marriage. Being masculine makes husbands stronger than wives physically most times, and they can dominate and control wives and children. Some husbands use the natural strength they ought to use to protect their family to hurt them because they are not meek and gentle. To be meek means being calm when provoked and recognising that using their strength can and will injure their family.

To be meek means being calm when provoked and recognising that using their strength can and will injure their family.

Wives also need to have a meek spirit and avoid using the weapon (tongue) to crush our spouses. Even though our tongue is a small member of the body, it can destroy a giant. Controlling our tongue will be another development area for some of us who have our way with words. Though a minor member of our body, our tongue is a giant when it comes to verbal assault. We must learn to control and not unleash the power of our tongue destructively. Have you ever wondered if you are meek person? I would encourage you to reflect and desire to become a meek person as Jesus admonished. 

Below are a few scriptures you could meditate upon to help develop a patient attitude.

  • So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; Colossians 3:12
  • Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, Ephesians 4:1-2
  • The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, 2 Timothy 2:24-25
  • But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

To change or renew our mind, we must meditate on the word of God, it is the only potent tool of deliverance along side praying that the Holy Spirit help us to understand the word and have a soft and obedient heart. 

I am a certified SYMBIS ASSESSMENT facilitator, and I would love to help you start your marriage right if you are getting married soon. If you are already married, I can also help you enrich your marriage by helping you and your partner understand how your personalities mesh. Saving Your Marriage Before IT Starts (SYMBIS) is a research-based questionnaire that couples take individually. We will generate a comprehensive report which I will help you unpack as your facilitator.

Research has shown that the couple who took the assessment reduced the divorce rate by 31%, saving one-third of couples whose marriage could have ended in divorce. Still, because they took the assessment, they were well prepared and avoided pitfalls while maximising the full potential of their relationships.

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I am naked and not ashamed! Is this your reality in your marriage?

When God created man and woman in the garden of Eden, he knew that couples in a marriage must be naked to each other. Naked here means openness and bear it all as is, without shame. So Adam and Eve were created without any form of covering. The bible tells us that they were both naked and not ashamed. However as soon as sin came into their lives, they started to cover up. 

I am not sure anyone would like other people to see their nakedness other than their spouse. If someone shows themselves unclothe to people publicly and unsolicited, it can be deemed a crime in England. Therefore, nakedness is meant to be explored within a particular setting and that in a marriage means, to bare it all without fear of committing a crime.

Suggested Read: The FAT Principles of marriage – TOLERANCE (Part 3)

Physical nakedness is just a representation of the other forms of nakedness that must exist in any marriage. Emotional nakedness, financial nakedness and physical nakedness are the parts of a healthy marriage. It is absurd that many couples would allow each other to see their physical nakedness, explore each other’s intimate body and securely guard their phones, conversations, bank accounts, and emotions. Do they ever wonder why there is no connection or intimacy in their sexual activity and marriage? 

Intimacy in marriage is created by openness, trust and “into me see” which is nakedness.

If a spouse cannot be vulnerable enough with their partner, the intimacy level will begin to diminish and before they know it, a wide gap has been created. Other forms of secrecy and lack of openness is not easily detected until there is a physical disconnect from both husband and wife.

A sexless marriage is an acute stage of lack of transparency and nakedness in a marriage relationship.

If sexlessness is not due to physical or health challenges, it may be due to lack of nakedness in the marriage. For any marriage to be healthy, grow and function the way God started it in the beginning, there must be no reason for any form of secrecy. It is very easy to miss the point that, being open and upfront with your spouse leads to intimacy and being secretive, guarded and shame leads to detachment.

A husband must be willing to disclose his struggles, fears and disappointment without any fear or shame. So also, a wife must be comfortable enough to share her hopes, failures, and frustration without feeling embarrassed.

This level of transparency can only be achieved when marriage is a safe place for both husband and wife. 

Similarly, individual maturity level can affect the level of transparency and openness. The family beliefs and practices can affect the level of trust a partner can bestow on their spouse. Unspoken prejudices and fears as well contribute to the level of trust a partner can give to their spouse. I discussed in one of the previous blogs and posts, trust is bestowed, earned, and cannot be requested. For some people, you do not need to prove your innocence before they give you the benefit of the doubt. Whereas for other people, you may never win their trust because they just cannot bestow trust, they find it difficult to trust easily.

It is therefore important for husbands and wives to understand that the level of trust, openness and nakedness in their marriage, will directly influence the level of intimacy, physical, emotional, and sexual satisfaction in their marriage.

You can also read: 7 things you can do together as a couple to strengthen your bond and friendship in a marriage.

The moment you are closing physical doors to discuss issues, closing bank accounts, locking and passwording gadgets, phones become a danger zone, that is the moment you should realise you are no longer comfortable being naked in your marriage. If you are still going naked to have sexual intercourse, it is only a matter of time before you will realise you are no longer able to stand each other’s nakedness.

At this point, you need help, and that help is foundational, a need to be open and transparent. This is not topical help. 

It is not a matter of my spouse is not giving me sex or sexual satisfaction. 

Unfortunately, many people miss the core and foundation of the problem in their marriage. They want a quick fix or maybe they have no idea what the problem in the marriage truly is. Sadly, some couples reach out to friends, family, and foes to find a solution. They are advised to seek another relationship, cheat, or find pleasure another way, consequently leading to the ultimate demise of the relationship.

God has given us all the solution to any marital problem in His holy book, the bible. If you are single and courting, yet you are not able to see into the person you intend to marry, please stop.

Intimacy is not sex; intimacy is naked but not ashamed.

Your fiancé or fiancée must be able to share their lives openly without any fear or shame with you. You as well must have nothing to hide. Nothing must be up your sleeves. If you go into marriage with baggage that has not been explained, it will come out as weight not too long on your journey.

So, are you naked in your marriage?  Are you willing to be naked with your intending spouse?  If you are not able to share your nakedness in every aspect of life, you will not understand what marriage all is about. At best if husband and wife share only physical nakedness, what they have is far less than what God has intended for them. 

However, being naked is an individual decision and it depends on our comfort level when naked. Becoming naked cannot be forced; it can be influenced by our spouse, for example if one receives judgement and condemnation. It may not be easy to be vulnerable with a judgemental spouse. To attain the intimacy level that sustains a healthy marriage, partners must be willing to look ridiculous and not ashamed.

Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!

Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.

Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.


My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here

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10 Reasons You Should Work on Your Marriage and Make Sure it is Healthy

What are the reasons why you should work on your marriage and make sure it is healthy, blissful and sweet? A good and peaceful marriage will give you peace of mind, body spirit and soul. Whenever a marriage is not working, the couple can never reach their full potential in life, they will be both damaged and have a lot of negative incidences. They may be covering up with other activities such as work, friendship outside of their marital relationship and bury themselves in a religious activity such as prayers and groups etc. All of these may take their focus and attention from the immediate pain of living with a spouse they consider trouble, however, the toll it takes on the body is revealed in their physical, emotional and spiritual health.

I am not in any way trying to insinuate that everyone who has one illness, or the other is as a result of bad marriages, we are all aware our bodies are broken because we are all in a fallen state. Many factors can cause illness in one’s body, genetic and other issues. However, there are illnesses that are triggered due to marital stress which would and may have been delayed or not surface at all if the marriage was peaceful and loving. 

“Stress doesn’t only make us feel awful emotionally,” says Jay Winner, MD, author of Take the Stress Out of Your Life, “It can also exacerbate just about any health condition you can think of.”

The people who advocate exercise state that, when the body is in a happy state it secrets a hormone called dopamine that relaxes the body and makes one be in a good mood. Also, when someone is constantly in a state of stress, the body release stress hormones (cortisol) that are harmful to the body. Cortisol, the primary stress hormone, increases sugars (glucose) in the bloodstream, enhances your brain’s use of glucose. When stressors are always present and you constantly feel under attack, that fight-or-flight reaction stays turned on and this does great harm to your body.

Imagine if a wife or husband is constantly living in unhappiness and secrets these harmful hormones daily, an accumulation of these hormones will one day be a level that it will cause damage to vital organs in the body leading to the development of illness and diseases. Therefore, if husbands and wives are aware of these types of damage they can and maybe causing each other by living in an unhealthy marriage, shouldn’t they resolve their issues for their health sake? Many men and women have destroyed their lives and body because they refused to work on their marriage.

Your marriage is your health thermostat and you have the power to turn it up or down to give you a healthy environment to grow in. 

We must decide to work on our marriages and make sure it is happy fun and full of laughter so we can increase the good hormones and live long.

These are some of the reasons why husbands and wives need to work for peace, it is a must, there should be no offence, conflict, or ego too big that you should allow to cost your life. Unforgiveness and holding offences in the mind has been a major cause of heart attack for some people. When you can release any heavy load, you are carrying in your mind, please do, your life, your health is worth much more than your reputation, image, ego, or position.

I have decided a long time ago to always release forgiveness to my husband or anyone at all who may hurt me, not only because God commanded me to do so as His child, but because I have made this quote by Marianne Williamson my mantra. When I came across this statement, it brought a light to my heart, I held onto it to help me know that when I hold grudges, I am not doing myself any favour. Let me share it with you today, it may help you realise that not holding grudges is more for your benefit than the other person who hurt you, even when they refuse to acknowledge or apologise.

“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.”- Marianne Williamson

Have you noticed that when you are not happy with someone and they are around you, there is this uneasiness and you probably lose your smile too? Why would anyone want to be in such a state perpetually living with a spouse you are unhappy with?

Some of the physical illness that can result due to marital stress include: Cancer, lack of regular sex in men can cause prostate cancer. High blood pressure when the mind and body are always stressed. Sexually transmitted diseases for those who go into adultery because of bad marriages.

Studies have found many health problems related to stress. Stress seems to worsen or increase the risk of conditions like obesity, heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes, depression, gastrointestinal problems, and asthma.

¹ Below are 10 Health Problems Related to Stress That You Can Fix by working on your marriage. I have taken these from WebMD please visit the website for more information.

  1. Heart disease – Researchers have long suspected that the stressed-out, type A personality has a higher risk of high blood pressure and heart problems. We don’t know why, exactly. Stress can directly increase heart rate and blood flow and causes the release of cholesterol and triglycerides into the bloodstream. 
  2. Asthma -Many studies have shown that stress can worsen asthma. Some evidence suggests that a parent’s chronic stress might even increase the risk of developing asthma in their children. One study looked at how parental stress affected the asthma rates of young children who were also exposed to air pollution or whose mothers smoked during pregnancy. The kids with stressed-out parents had a substantially higher risk of developing asthma.
  3. Obesity – Excess fat in the belly seems to pose greater health risks than fat on the legs or hips — and unfortunately, that’s just where people with high stress seem to store it. “Stress causes higher levels of the hormone cortisol,” says Winner, “and that seems to increase the amount of fat that’s deposited in the abdomen.”
  4. Diabetes – Stress can worsen diabetes in two ways. First, it increases the likelihood of bad behaviours, such as unhealthy eating and excessive drinking. Second, stress seems to raise the glucose levels of people with type 2 diabetes directly.
  5. Headaches– Stress is considered one of the most common triggers for headaches — not just tension headaches, but migraines as well.
  6. Depression and anxiety – It’s probably no surprise that chronic stress is connected with higher rates of depression and anxiety. One survey of recent studies found that people who had stress related to their jobs — like demanding work with few rewards — had an 80% higher risk of developing depression within a few years than people with lower stress.
  7. Gastrointestinal problems– Here’s one thing that stress doesn’t do — it doesn’t cause ulcers. However, it can make them worse. Stress is also a common factor in many other GI conditions, such as chronic heartburn (or gastroesophageal reflux disease, GERD) and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), Winner says.
  8. Alzheimer’s disease- One animal study found that stress might worsen Alzheimer’s disease, causing its brain lesions to form more quickly. Some researchers speculate that reducing stress has the potential to slow down the progression of the disease.
  9. Accelerated ageing– There’s evidence that stress can affect how you age. One study compared the DNA of mothers who were under high stress — they were caring for a chronically ill child — with women who were not. Researchers found that a particular region of the chromosomes showed the effects of accelerated ageing. Stress seemed to accelerate ageing about 9 to 17 additional years.
  10. Premature death– A study looked at the health effects of stress by studying elderly caregivers looking after their spouses — people who are naturally under a great deal of stress. It found that caregivers had a 63% higher rate of death than people their age who were not caregivers.

¹ (source WebMD Feature Reviewed by Joseph Goldberg, MD on April 01, 2014) https://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/features/10-fixable-stress-related-health-problems#1

Given this staggering evidence of stress and illnesses, I hope men and women would be informed and start working on their marriages.

Apart from physical illness, there are also spiritual implications that are even costlier for anyone living in disobedience to God’s law of living at peace and offering forgiveness to each other.

Couples who live in disobedience to God’s law of love and holiness will experience a broken relationship with God, they may be praying but God does not listen to such prayers. There are numerous bible passages that talked about prayers being hindered. They will be exposed to attack from the enemy because God’s law has been broken, when the accuser of the brethren shows up because they are still in sin, God cannot justify them. They will just be religious and have no power over the enemy. They will lack God’s special blessings for His children, they may be doing well but that is the common grace God gives to everybody. They will lose their glory and honour that God has prepared for those who obey Him.

The implication of living a life that does not please God in a marriage is enormous and it bleeds my heart to see that some husbands and wives are not informed nor aware of these, they live in oblivion and expect their lives to be ok. I pray for God’s mercy on us all. Amen.

Now we have only just scratched the surface of what stress can do to a married couple who chooses to live in sin. If you refuse to work on your marriage and choose to disobey God’s law that says in John 13;34-35. “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” Then you have your reward as you choose.

I hope you can allow God to work on your heart, whatever may be the cause of strife in your marriage, let it go and save your health for a long life of joy, peace and happiness.

If this post has helped you in any way, please leave me a comment and you can also send me questions, I will do my best to answer them with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!

Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.

Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counsellors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.


My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married.
You can also preorder the book here

abiapalara2

Don’t stop dating each other

Don’t stop dating each other. Some couples stop going out once they are married. Men put a lot of effort in, during courtship to win women over and to affirm their love. Too often, once a commitment of love has been sealed by marriage, some men assume there is no need for affirmation of love or show of affection. It is important to continue to date yourselves as a married couple. This will ensure, the flame of love is kept burning. Now once you are married, it doesn’t have to be the man’s sole responsibility, women you can organize date nights and pay for it too😁. I have done that and my husband appreciated it. My husband has organized numerous too and I am always looking forward to it. Will you plan a date night with your spouse today?