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Can Mercy and Grace Make Marriages Merry?

A few months ago, I told my children “No more snacks” because they ate up the snacks I bought within a week. My thought was the snacks would last up to a month. Am I sure some people can relate to this! However, before I knew it, we were in the shop again, buying more snacks. Parents have a way of forgiving and being merciful to their children. The word mercy is defined as “compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone who is within one’s power to punish or harm” or simply “not getting what you deserve”. God is a compassionate father, and if you and I should get the reward of what we deserve, undoubtedly no one will get to heaven. God didn’t want anyone to perish, hence He paid the price and forgave us all our past, present, and future sins. 

We cannot love like our father in heaven without developing an attitude of Mercy and compassion towards our spouse.

Many people do not fully understand the concept of Mercy in marriage. We cannot love like our father in heaven without developing an attitude of Mercy and compassion towards our spouse. Some people have read or come across people who have no concept of compassion or Mercy. Psychologists refer to such beings as having narcissistic personalities. They cannot feel sympathy or empathy towards someone else, their belief is in punishment, and see to it that they avenge themselves. What you give is what you get with these types of people, yet the astonishing thing is some of these people claim to be Christians. They pray and fast and cry out to God for Mercy, and they get no result: they are unforgiving and unable to extend the Grace and Mercy they desire. 

Any marriage or relationship where Mercy does not prevail will struggle with resolving conflict quickly.

Any marriage or relationship where Mercy does not prevail will struggle with resolving conflict quickly. As Christians, we must learn to put on the attitude of Mercy and grace; some couples do not reconcile quickly or ever at all, because one or both wants to avenge or revenge. Judgment and no mercy is what they crave. Mercy comes from a Hebrew word that means womb. The womb protects the baby inside it. A merciful spouse is concerned about protecting their partner and marriage and less concerned about self-preservation. A mother cares more for the baby in her womb and goes through the many changes to her body and the risks associated with birthing a baby. Her main concern while pregnant is the safe delivery of that baby. God has shown as a father we can be compassionate just as mothers are compassionate, it is not gender specific. Compassionate people care and protect their families; they show Mercy which result into happy and joyful marriages. 

A merciful spouse is concerned about protecting their partner and marriage and less concerned about self-preservation.

How merciful are you towards your spouse? Do you desire a happy marriage? Have you considered being merciful? You may have the power to control, dominate and hurt people because of your position in your marriage, but you don’t have to choose that path. Bind mercy and truth to your neck and see how graceful, beautiful, and loving you will become. 

Be merciful as your father in heaven is merciful. Shalom.

Good marriages don’t fall from heaven; they are heaven made on earth.

Please let me know in the comment if you are blessed.

I am a certified SYMBIS ASSESSMENT facilitator, and I would love to help you start your marriage right if you are getting married soon. If you are already married, I can also help you enrich your marriage by helping you and your partner understand how your personalities mesh. Saving Your Marriage Before IT Starts (SYMBIS) is a research-based questionnaire that couples take individually. We will generate a comprehensive report which I will help you unpack as your facilitator.

Research has shown that the couple who took the assessment reduced the divorce rate by 31%, saving one-third of couples whose marriage could have ended in divorce. Still, because they took the assessment, they were well prepared and avoided pitfalls while maximising the full potential of their relationships. 

Would you mind clicking the link below to learn more about SYMBIS and how you can take the assessment and start enjoying your marriage? Take Symbis Assessment

Over 1,000,000 couples and 100,000 pastors and counsellors cannot be wrong: SYMBIS is the most widely used pre-marital assessment in existence. SYMBIS+ is excellent for already married couples.

What SYMBIS does is nothing short of revolutionary – Gary Chapman author of The Five Love Languages 

Please let me know if you are blessed, by liking the post, share and comment.

Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!

Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.

Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.


My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here

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