I love collecting British coins because, on the flip side of some of the coins, there are images worth much more than the face value of each currency. Rare Brexit 50p coins with the words: Peace, Prosperity, and Friendship with all nations 2020 written on the side are listed for £15,000 online. Now, if you and I have this 50p coin and never looked at the other side before exchanging it for a 50p sweet, what a treasure we forfeit, if we did look at the other side of the coin, which my daughter is much obsessed with now, we could have a deposit for a house.
You have treasure on the other side of your spouse that you are missing if you fail to consider both sides of their coin.
Therefore, why am I sharing this illustration with you as a single unmarried person or married couple? You have treasure on the other side of your spouse that you are missing if you fail to consider both sides of their coin. Likewise, if you see only the ugly side of your spouse and decide not to consider looking at the other beautiful side, you probably deny and cheat yourself of the joys of marriage. If you are seeing the beautiful side of your partner and you are not prepared to face their ugly side when the coin flips, you are also setting yourself up for disappointment and resentment. I am so amazed when people approach marriage as a fairy-tale or a madhouse view only. Marriage is a combination of good and evil; it is our choice to nurture the excellent side and continuously reduce the ability of the nasty side to take over our beautiful marriage.
I am so amazed when people approach marriage as a fairy-tale or a madhouse view only.
I want you to list the good attributes you found in your spouse when you decided to marry them, also list the irritating characteristics you found initially. Still, you accepted and thought you would live by or, if you are those living in fairy-tale land, assumed you would change. Oh no, you cannot change another person’s make-up or mindset; you can influence people, which is done by showing them much love, being a good leader and accepting people as they are. It is the love and care we offer that move people to change behaviours. Also, some people believe they know what is good and what is wrong. Yes, there are standard moral codes, but most of the attributes that irritate our relationships are different views. We must be prepared to accept other people’s points of view.
…most of the attributes that irritate our relationships are different views.
For instance, the standard of cleanliness in someone’s house may be different from my house, depending on who and how we were brought up. Consider people doing cleaning jobs and clean other people’s homes, they will likely have a higher standard of cleanliness than those who probably work in the construction industry where they are covered in dust all day long. Noticing a speck of dust at home for a construction expert is probably not going to be a deal-breaker, yet for another spouse who works in a cleaning company, a speck of dust is a deal-breaker. Therefore, we must check why we are easily angered or irritated at the way of life of our partner, we must understand our difference, they as the spice of life, and we must do our best to accommodate other people’s points of view.
… we must do our best to accommodate other people’s points of view.
So, what will you do differently today? Are you going to consider the other side of the coin of your spouse? Are you going to be flexible and be prepared to have a broad mind and love your spouse irrespective of your different points of view? If you choose to accept and love yourself and your spouse, you will enjoy the beautiful side of marriage more than the ugly side.
Great marriages don’t fall from heaven; they are heaven made on earth.
I am a certified SYMBIS ASSESSMENT facilitator, and I would love to help you start your marriage right if you are getting married soon. If you are already married, I can also help you enrich your marriage by helping you and your partner understand how your personalities mesh. Saving Your Marriage Before IT Starts (SYMBIS) is a research-based questionnaire that couples take individually. We will generate a comprehensive report which I will help you unpack as your facilitator.
Research has shown that the couple who took the assessment reduced the divorce rate by 31%, saving one-third of couples whose marriage could have ended in divorce. Still, because they took the assessment, they were well prepared and avoided pitfalls while maximising the full potential of their relationships.
Would you mind clicking the link below to learn more about SYMBIS and how you can take the assessment and start enjoying your marriage? Take Symbis Assessment
Over 1,000,000 couples and 100,000 pastors and counsellors cannot be wrong: SYMBIS is the most widely used pre-marital assessment in existence. SYMBIS+ is excellent for already married couples.
What SYMBIS does is nothing short of revolutionary – Gary Chapman author of The Five Love Languages
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Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.
Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.
My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here