Recently I have written about having soft skills in marriage and why it is essential that as a spouse, we do skills audits and check that we have and are developing the right sets of skills that will help us to be the best spouse ever. Many married partner dreams and yearn to be called the “best husband or best wife ever”, but they are not doing the things that will present them as such a person. Some behaviours qualify us as the best and excellent, yet so many people have behaviours and characters that show them as short of being the best.
Many married partner dreams and yearn to be called the “best husband or best wife ever”
Everybody will call a kind, gracious and loving spouse the best, but a mean, angry and unkind soul wants or desires to be liked and celebrated, yet the fragrance around them repels their partner. They become more irritable and farther away from what they desire. I can assure you that every spouse can be the best as long as we are keen to have and work on giving each other the best of each other. A behaviour change comes with acknowledging and looking at oneself first. If it was an easy task, I know many people would be the best husband or wife today; it is easier to spot the flaws in others than to see ourselves and own up to our shortcomings.
It is easier to spot the flaws in others than to see ourselves and own up to our shortcomings
Many people who quickly see other people’s weaknesses are full of deficiencies that they often project unto others. They assess and judge other people through their broken lens hence their inability to look past their mistakes and be gracious to them. God word reveals His attributes in Exodus 34: 6-7 Compassion, Grace, Patience – (slow to anger), Loyal love and Faithfulness.
These are good behaviours that an admirable spouse will possess, develop and continue to nurture to become the best version of themselves and, out of that abundance in them, will overflow unto others.
Let us take a mirror and look at ourselves in the following five questions if we can.
Compassion: Are you a compassionate spouse?
Gracious: Are you generous in how you deal with your partner?
Patience: (slow to anger) – Are you an angry spouse or a patient spouse?
Loyal love: Are you loving simply when things are good and going your way or loving for better for worse as you vowed?
Faithfulness: Are you steady, committed and faithful to your spouse?
A pure self-reflection of our behaviours as a stand-alone and the desire to be a better person will allow you and me to answer the above questions truthfully and commit to making changes.
Not for your spouse’s sake but for yourself, and as you begin to renew your mind, you will emerge a better person and soon reflect on others around you as a better husband, wife, parent, friend, etc.
Good marriages don’t fall from heaven, they are heaven made on earth.
Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!
Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.
Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.
My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here