Have you been in love? When we were young, our parents described the moment they set their eyes on newborn babies, how in an instant, a strong affection develops for this little being. Even though a newborn child can cause sleepless nights, parents usually don’t stop caring and developing a strong bond with their children under normal circumstances; of course, there are exceptional cases that this does not occur. Loving a newborn is the picture of what loving unconditionally means; many couples love with conditions yet vow to love for better for worse, richer, or poorer, in sickness and in health.
I often wonder how lightly married couples take their marital vows. Vows are powerful, and the Bible clarifies that it is better not to vow than to swear and not fulfil it. Many people suffer the consequences of breaking their oaths and blaming the devil or each other. Malachi 2 is a chapter in the bible many couples do not understanding, hence they are facing God’s righteous justice. You both vow to honour, cherish and love each other but as soon as cracks begin to surface, love becomes conditional.
Vows are powerful, and the Bible clarifies that it is better not to vow than to vow and not fulfil it.
Love is an action word and a doing word; it is a form of feeling yet much more than a feeling that comes and goes like the wind. I want to call you to a higher level of love, especially if you are in Christ. Love means you die to your selfish self and give yourself away to your spouse. You cannot give yourself away in love without being vulnerable, kind, compassionate and humble. Love gives a part of you without expecting a return the same way you have given it. Love is a buried seed; the plant seeds had to die to feed the new shoots, which then brings forth fruits. Some people want the fruit of love, which is admiration, elevation and glorification, just like our Lord Jesus, yet they want to skip the part of vulnerability, to serve and lay down their pride.
I want to call you to a higher level of love, especially if you are in Christ
As a mother, I understand loving a child no matter the current situation, and I will always love and accept my children for who they are, not what they do. We are God’s children because He created us, and many that come to receive His grace are called the sons of God. Are you only able to love your spouse when they do as you say? Love based on feelings dies and grow cold, but love based on conviction continue to wax stronger and stronger each day. It does not depend on the conditions around but a belief that we are one body, you are mine, and I am yours; when couples reach this level of love, they have hit the “sweet spot” in their marriage.
Love based on feelings dies and grow cold, but love based on conviction continue to wax stronger
If you are still falling in and out of love quickly, you are yet to reach a level of maturity that helps you eat the fruit of unconditional love in your marriage. I pray couples will understand the depth and type of love (agape love) required for a beautiful marriage. Sexual love, obedience, love and infatuation are levels of love, and couples will go through these phases, but the ability to grow and develop unconditional love is critical to bliss. If one has not experienced and understood the unconditional love of God, how can one know and give this type of love?
I pray you will come to accept Gods unconditional love and be filled with His love so you can love your neighbour – your spouse is your closest neighbour; why not start from there.
Great marriages don’t fall from heaven, they are heaven made on earth.