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Understanding Love for a lifetime and demystifying Love

I do not know about you, but I love my family. My love for my husband and children will not diminish or waver because of what they do or do not do. I know these are my immediate family, and no matter what happens, these are still my flesh and blood. 

Therefore, when my children annoy me, I may get angry, but never would I withdraw my love because it is a conviction. I cannot undo or decide I did not give birth to them. It is often easier with children and parents love because we know naturally, we cannot undo our connection. However, when it comes to marriage, a spiritual connection of two people becoming one flesh, our bond is not physical, and so it is easier to separate and divorce, of course, tears us apart. Hence spouses who do not understand becoming one flesh is not physical but spiritual can misunderstand the word love. 

Hence spouses who do not understand becoming one flesh is not physical but spiritual can misunderstand the word love.

When a partner does not take marital love as a commitment, they will not love unconditionally, nor will they love when they are not feeling the love. Feelings don’t last forever; euphoric loving feelings tend to last for about two years in a marriage relationship. Those couples who fail to commit unconditional love to their marriage will claim to fall out of love when those euphoric feelings wane. Many people confuse lust with love in relationships and especially marriage. We must Demystify the magical word called love. Love and being loving are phenomenal and intriguing at the same time. 

Many people confuse lust with love in relationships and especially marriage. 

The word love is used daily in many ways. Parents love their children, husband and wife love each other. Men love women, boys love girls, and we love our friends, family and neighbours. In England, a stranger at the shopping till can say, “how can I help you, love? “Hearing the word love used so often and in so many ways can make us lose the real meaning of love. Love has many layers and is categorised into four different types. 

Storge – empathy bond. Philia – friend bond. Eros – romantic love. Agape – unconditional “God” love.

We all must understand the power and purpose of the different types of love and how to use them. 

We all must understand the power and purpose of the different types of love and how to use them.

However, love has the same characteristics and purpose in any form we may choose to show our love. When love hurts or breeds unrighteousness, then it is no longer love but lust. Love gives us lives; the Bible tell of the intimate expression of love in John 3:16. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believe in Him shall not die but have everlasting life. Love is good and does well all the time; the pain that comes with love is sacrifice, but, in the end, it brings life and joy. 

Life-giving experience is a more precise and better way of measuring God’s love.

How would you know if you understand love? Does your love breed life and joy, or is it full of pain and not alive? Life-giving experience is a more precise and better way of measuring God’s love. When Jesus died, He resurrected to give life to many. When a mother goes through delivery pain, it is to give birth to another life. How are you breathing life-giving love into your marriage?

What people often called love comes in two forms, love as feelings and commitment. 

What people often called love comes in two forms, love as feelings and commitment.

Jesus was not feeling good or happy when He was going to the cross for our redemption, but He was committed to redeeming us and obeyed the Father. This is how love works; unfortunately, lust and unrighteousness are what many people associate with love. Sexual sins, immorality and acts of wickedness are not loved but lust. People who fall in love based on feelings but do not decide to love as a commitment, especially in a marriage, fall in love and out of love, and the marriage ends. A strong and committed love is the type of love that sustains successful marriages. Couples must choose to love each other and continue to love each other, whether the feeling is there or not. When you love irrespective of emotions, we have demystified the word called LOVE.

Good marriages don’t fall from heaven; they are heaven made on earth.

Please let me know in the comment if you are blessed.

You may need someone to hold you accountable and support you on this journey, as a certified SYMBIS assessment facilitator, I can support you virtually. 

I invite you to take the pre-marriage assessment if you are single or engaged to be married soon or the SYMBIS+ Assessment if you are married. I will help you unpack the result and point out areas of strengths, weakness, opportunity, and threats (SWOT) in your marriage. Every successful business conducts SWOT analysis in other to continue to grow. 

Please send me a message below, and I will arrange for you to take the assessment as soon as possible.

Please let me know if you are blessed, by liking the post, share and comment.

Are you longing for inspiration for your life and marriage? Learning new skills and acquiring knowledge can greatly improve your relationship with your spouse. When you know better, you can do better and make a big difference in your relationship. Subscribe to updates from Abi here!

Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.

Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.


My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here

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