As we know it, marriage is giving and receiving. When both partners are giving and receiving love to and from each other; the marriage will be healthy. However, once one of the partners decides to withhold or begin to penalise or discount the other, there will be an imbalance and tilting of scales. This so often results in an unhealthy relationship where one partner is giving and desperately trying without the other’s commitment and dedication.
A marriage’s success is predictable just as being able to unlock a door is predictable if one has the right key
A marriage’s success is predictable just as being able to unlock a door is predictable if one has the right key. The failure of marriage is also predictable just as one can expect to sweat and be frustrated when trying to open a door without the right key or no key at all. Many couples are approaching marriage this way, no clear guidance on what to do to get the keys needed to unlock marital bliss. Every success in any field of life is attained by following success principles. A person who will not follow the rigorous training to become a medical doctor will never become a medical doctor. They can dream about it, talk about, where the scrubs and practice being a doctor in their home, if they do not go for the training and passed the examinations, and they will never become a doctor. We have seen some fake doctors, and the results have been fatal.
You can read: How to be a Loving Wife to your Husband
Therefore, we must begin to learn how to attain marriage success.
Therefore, we must begin to learn how to attain marriage success. Many marriages as much as 50% are destined to end in divorce; the remaining 50% cannot be judged as successful as many hangs in there for many reasons other than being happy and fulfilled. To attain success in marriage, there must be a 100% commitment from both parties, and they must be willing to be selfless, remove focus from themselves and become a team. When couples are still relating to each other using the word I, there will be a problem. WE must be the language of any couple who wants to succeed. Whenever couples focus on I, it will result in an unhealthy relationship.
WE must be the language of any couple who wants to succeed.
One of the laws of marriage is to love each other. We all know that loving each other is easy at the beginning of a relationship. Still, as the euphoria wears out, the decision to love will determine that relationship’s success or failure. I fear, and it is obvious that the marriage vow is not taken seriously by most couple, “for better or worse” and by far many are not practising what they vowed. To love your spouse means determining to continue to love them in a good and bad situation. But what do we see, many spouses will stop loving attitudes once there is an argument or strife. When a couple cannot see themselves as a team and solve issues together to win, there will be an illness.
We must begin to approach marriage relations as a team; a house divided against itself will not stand.
We must begin to approach marriage relationship as a team; a house divided against itself will not stand. In a team, each team member support and will sacrifice for the team. One person cannot be a team by looking out for their own well-being alone. A husband must understand that if his wife is not ok, he is not ok too and so should a wife feel. The bible says husband and wife must become one flesh, which is the key. A husband must see and feel his wife’s pain; likewise, a wife must feel the pain and stresses her husband is passing through. Where couples cannot relate this way, they will not be able to work for each other’s good or protect their relationship. When couples understand that whatever happens to their spouse happens to them, they become more loving and respond lovingly.
You can also read: How to be a loving husband to your wife
When couples understand that whatever happens to their spouse happens to them, they become more loving and respond lovingly.
On the other hand, many people are unaccepting of their spouse. I find it so concerning that some spouses still think their partner is an outsider and can leave them at any time. They have not embraced the permanency of the marital union, so they always create a gap or crack through which the enemy comes in to plunder their joys. As husband and wife, please renew your mind and understand that you are one, no longer can you see yourself as I but WE. Learn to replace the I in your relationship with WE and see your relationship Illness turn to Wellness.
It is one of the secrets of good, happy and lasting marriages. You are no longer by yourself but a team with your partner.
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Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.
Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.
My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here