The problem you face in your life and marriage is not going away because you have refused to understand the lesson God wants you to learn, to become a better version of yourself.
I have often realised the problems I encountered many times in my life were for me to discover a lesson, have testimony and story to tell and be a blessing to many others.
A good teacher may have all the knowledge and skills, but a great and compassionate teacher has gone through the issues, experienced and triumphed. Such a teacher and mentor will be able to empathise with their students and mentee. When I got married, we did not have children straight away; there was a waiting period, and during this period, I learnt how to cherish the gift of children because I sought it and relied on God for the fruit of the womb.
I have often realised the problems I encountered many times in my life were for me to discover a lesson, have testimony and story to tell and be a blessing to many others.
Even though my husband and I were comfortable financially, we realised our limitations regarding what money can buy and what money cannot buy. We learnt to trust God, who gives children no matter how we bring them into the world. When our children arrived, it made me appreciate God’s faithfulness even more. I took the opportunity to enjoy a beautiful time and choose to make memories with our children deliberately. I have always told people close to me that I probably would not have taken parenting seriously and enjoyed it had I not waited to have children. What was the purpose of my waiting period? During this time, I had to develop an unwavering faith and learned to trust God’s sovereignty; no one can demand a child from God unless He gives it. My testimony has now become a story that glorifies God and brings hope to many families I daily encounter. I work within a team, and we have supported hundreds of women waiting on the Lord.
We learnt to trust God, who gives children no matter how we bring them into the world.
Oh, the testimonies we have shared and many more on the way for those still waiting. The point I am making here is that the challenges you face in your marriage are for you to grow, learn, and overcome to help others who will go through the same.
Are you dealing with a problematic and unforgiving partner? An unloving spouse? A painful and joyless marriage? A childless marriage? Whatever the challenge you may have right now if you change your focus from Why me Lord? To what am I supposed to learn from this experience? What do I need to change, and how do I come out with a testimony? I can assure you, the problems we face are a goldmine of opportunity for us to grow and become a better version of ourselves. Unfortunately, many people fight the wrong battle. We fight our spouses and stubbornly want to change the other person. We must learn to look inward and see what we can change and become better people. No wonder the Bible said, we are trying to remove a speck in someone’s eyes, but we have a log in our eyes. ( paraphrased).
I can assure you, the problems we face are a goldmine of opportunity to grow and become a better version of ourselves.
Jesus Christ, our Lord and saviour who is our role model, had to become one of us, go through the ridicule, pain, and shame so that we have an advocate who knows our weaknesses and able to have compassion on us. He gives mercy and deals with us compassionately because he knows our frame and our ways.
So, if your spouse is constantly annoying you, your growth area may be having more patience. If your spouse is continuously offending you, your growth area requires you to learn to overlook offences and forgive quickly. If your spouse is a spendthrift or frugal, your growth area may be money management and so on.
I want to encourage you today to grow through your challenges, do not try to change your partner; instead, you grow to accommodate those habits that irritate you. You will become a kind, loving, and accommodating spouse. Is this not what daily renewing our mind means, loving our neighbour, and learning to live in love with all men?
I want to encourage you today to grow through your challenges, do not try to change your partner.
It is time to grow and stop burrowing through your challenges.
I am a certified SYMBIS ASSESSMENT facilitator, and I would love to help you start your marriage right if you are getting married soon. If you are already married, I can also help you enrich your marriage by helping you and your partner understand how your personalities mesh. Saving Your Marriage Before IT Starts (SYMBIS) is a research-based questionnaire that couples take individually. We will generate a comprehensive report which I will help you unpack as your facilitator.
Research has shown that the couple who took the assessment reduced the divorce rate by 31%, saving one-third of couples whose marriage could have ended in divorce. Still, because they took the assessment, they were well prepared and avoided pitfalls while maximising the full potential of their relationships.
Would you mind clicking the link below to learn more about SYMBIS and how you can take the assessment and start enjoying your marriage? Take Symbis Assessment
Over 1,000,000 couples and 100,000 pastors and counsellors cannot be wrong: SYMBIS is the most widely used pre-marital assessment in existence. SYMBIS+ is excellent for already married couples.
What SYMBIS does is nothing short of revolutionary – Gary Chapman author of The Five Love Languages
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Abi Apalara loves sharing insightful information that helps couples flourish in life and their marriage relationship. I have enjoyed both good marital pleasures and challenging times in my marriage. I came to realise, the points where I missed it, were areas I lacked information on how to.
Making it up along the way, only meant I was going the wrong way. Desperately seeking to get back into marital bliss, I started exploring and reading about those areas of challenge. I also reached out to counselors and began to see what I was missing.
After a surprising move into relationship study, I have found peace of mind and happy with my marriage. I have authored the book Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus realty to share my experience and encourage men and women to work on their
marriages, by seeking knowledge and apply it to their marriage relationship.
My latest book, Are you ready? Marriage expectation versus reality focuses on discovering some of the unrealistic expectations we bring into a marriage. It comes with practical advice and a guide on how to get it right before and after getting married. You can also preorder the book here
